Emily loves to bake. We got this recipe from an Amish friend. For those who don’t know, the Amish typically have large families, and their recipes reflect this. This recipe makes something like 8 dozen cookies. That’s a lot of cookies. But it’s perfect for my family size. Especially when we have extended family over for something like Emily’s high school graduation. And that’s what was going on here.

Now, first, let me say, that while I can bake quite well, it’s not something I do a lot of. There are two reasons. One, I just don’t have the time and I don’t enjoy it very much. I enjoy the out come, very much, just not the actual baking. That brings me to reason two. When there are cookies in the house, I eat them. All. The. Time. Yesterday, I think I ate about 43 cookies. Because I baked again. It’s actually the first time I’ve baked cookies since these pictures were taken. For good reason.

Despite my aversion to baking, Emily has developed quite the love for it. It must be one of those “skips a generation” type things because my dad is quite the baker. He bakes cookies and pies like one’s business. In fact, it’s one of the very happy memories I have from growing up. Watching my dad bake cookies. I learned a lot from watching him in the kitchen. I can make killer gravy, and I know to get the best cookies, you have to mix the dough with your hands. My dad says this is where he adds the love in and cookies always taste best when baked with love.

So, here is Dad, giving the recipe a once over, in his mind comparing it to his own. It met with approval. Maia, my niece, got in on the action. She is NOT a baker.  She makes ramen and cold cereal in her kitchen at home. To be fair, my sister is an excellent cook. If I were Maia, I’d happily sit back and let her cook for me, too. And bake. She does that quite well, also. But, at my house, we put her to work. She chopped nuts. My Pampered Chef chopper is a lot of fun to use, so it wasn’t really work at all. Grandpa had to give some direction to Emily as well. He is the master cookie maker, after all.

Finished with the premixing, getting ready to add the love.

Here she is, digging in, mixing the flour, chips and nuts in by hand. Can you feel the love? I’m not sure I could have handled all of that scrutiny, but she did, with grace and aplomb. That’s my girl.

All mixed up and ready to bake. Now for the tedious part. Scooping all that dough into balls of cookies to bake. We put Maia on the job.

Can I just take a moment to say, I feel a bit like I’m shooting a Pampered Chef catalog session here. Note the PC mixing bowl, the PC scooper, the PC baking stones, the PC mix & scraper, and the afore mentioned PC chopper. In addition, in the background, you can see my PC carousel filled with many other PC cooking utensils. It’s next to the coffee maker. You can see the PC pizza cutter and several bamboo tools there. I really do love my Pampered Chef products. If you took them all away, I could not prepare a meal in my kitchen. I use them that much. And in the process of gathering those links for you, I found about 6 more things I HAVE to have. Ok, back to cookies.

Cookies met with approval from our toughest of critics. Ok. Who am I kidding? This “critic” will eat about any cookie you put in front of him. But, dang, he’s cute!! Especially with melted chocolate chips all over his face.

Yesterday, we drove to Springfield. It’s a 1 1/2 hour drive. I spent a lot of time thinking about her and recalling some of my fondest, or strongest memories. When she was born, and I wouldn’t hold her until they cleaned her up. When I first put her to breast, and the nurse told me to do it side lying because they didn’t want me to sit up because my blood pressure was high. That’s when I fell in love with nursing that way. Deciding to snuggle her in my bed rather than using a crib, my instinctual transition to becoming a co-sleeping parent. Later, when I was laying in bed and she was in her crib. I was tired but I heard her on the monitor. I hoped she’d just go back to sleep. She got quiet and so I started to drift off. Then, a couple of minutes later, I hear a soft “tap tap tap” on my door. She’d climbed out of her crib and walked down the hall to get me up. So we snuggled. Guess she really preferred that co-sleeping thing, too. Taking her to twenty something, where I eventually met Tom. Hanging out with my friends with her in tow. She had more adult friends than friends her own age in those days. She learned to interact with adults and was very mature as a result. When she was left home alone at age 6 by a new step-dad who didn’t know better, and instead of panicking, she drew herself a map to get to a family friend’s house who lived a few blocks away; and then, just as I was ready to call the police, she came walking around the corner because even though her map was drawn perfectly, she made a wrong turn along the way and ended up going around the block to end where she’d started. She was amazing even then. School, periods, boyfriends, girlfriend drama, moving to a whole new state, getting sibling after sibling. All of these things made her into the amazing person she is. Kind hearted, desire to serve, totally in love with Jesus. The best helper and “second mama” I could ever ask for for my other kids.

I just don’t know how I will function with out her here. Who will I leave the baby with when I need to make a quick run to the store? Who will I watch Vampire Diaries with? Who will I tell about an awesome new book I just finished? Who will I ask if my outfit goes together?

I know she is embarking on the next great adventure of her life and I wish her all the joy and happiness and success. And I’m SO proud of her for the Godly woman she has become. But for right now, I need to mourn a little bit. But I don’t get very long because there are 6 others here with bottoms to wipe, meals to cook, and snuggles to be had. I really just don’t want to hear “When is Hannah moving in to Emily’s room?” or “Who’s going to take over Emily’s prayer night?” We take turns for the dinner prayer. She was Tuesday. I really just need a minute.

Here are a few cell phone pictures. I gave her the huge gift of NOT bringing my big camera. I did bring my little point and shoot, but left it in the van. So, cell phone it was. I did bring my little camera in when we got back from Walmart and Ian took loads of pictures. I’ll post them later. For now, here are these.

So, Emily has about 39 hours left at home. After that, we are off to Lincoln to move her in to the dorms. We did some last minute shopping today for important things like cute dishes and rain boots. She is currently procrastinating in her room while she’s supposed to be packing. And I have such a feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I’m nervous for her as she starts out on this new phase of her life. Navigating a stranger for a room mate. Making choices all by herself. Being a grown up. I know she’ll be fine. She engendered so much trust that she never even had a curfew. And still, she made good choices. She doesn’t always choose well for eating, but that’s such a small thing. Cheetos Puffs do not a meal make. She also loves salad, so hopefully it will all balance out.

I spent a whole day crying a couple of weeks ago and have not had any problems since. Now the tears threaten again. I expect there will be lots of them over the next two or three days. I will be relying heavily on the great comforter for a while over this particular issue.

Tomorrow, last minute packing, loading up the van, a trip to Springfield for a shiny new military ID.

And probably lots of tears.